North Korea- Land of the Lost Unicorns?

Cryptozoologists the world over will be thrilled by news from North Korea that a team of Archaeologists working out of Pyongyang’s Academy of Social Sciences claimed to have unearthed the location of a unicorn lair in the heart of the nation’s capital.

The state run Korean Central News Agency reports that the unicorn in question was once ridden by King Tongmyong, founder of the Koguryo Kingdom which dominated much of the Koreans Peninsula from approximately B.C. 277-A.D. 668.

Sceptics and non-believers will point to a series of fantastical, and often unsubstantiated, stories published by the KCNA in the past, including claims of Kim Jong-Il’s astonishing feats of sporting prowess in 1994, sinking an unprecedented eleven hole-in-ones in his first ever game of golf before promptly announcing his retirement from the sport, as grounds for denying the veracity of this news.

However, the report quashes any such doubts by noting that the site, which lies 200 meters away from a temple which once served as a palace for King Tongmyong, is marked by a large rectangular rock helpfully bearing the inscription “Unicorn Lair.” The carving is believed to date back to the period of the Koryo Kingdom (A.D.918- 1392), raising questions as to how the lair has remained undiscovered for the past thousand years.

This historic breakthrough comes at a fortuitous time for the government of the DPRK, who suffered setbacks recently when it was revealed that Chinese newspaper People’s Daily had been the victims of a satirical hoax when publishing the results of a US poll naming North Korean head of state, Kim Jong-un, ‘sexiest man alive’. Long considered strictly mythical in nature, this irrefutable evidence for the existence of unicorns raises new hopes for the discovery of Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, and Puff the Magic Dragon, often rumoured to be resident in Pyongyang.

By Sam Jones

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